About a month ago, I received a phone call from one of my oldest friends, Mitch. He has been going through a rough time (in a nutshell, his ex went insane and he did everything in his power to maintain his own sanity while trying to help her) and wanted me to come out. I said yes without a second thought.
As I sit here on the plane, I can't help but think... how did we arrive at this point? What made him so special that I was willing to drop everything for a week and fly across the country to see an old friend who was having a hard time.... Well, that's quite a story in and of itself...
Mitch and I met in the Spring of 1995 during our families' vacations to Club Med in Huatulco, Mexico. I had spotted him during "dance' time and asked if he wanted to hang out with me and the other teens in the "teen club." We became pretty inseparable and as chance would have it, his mom and he were seated behind my mom and I on the plane. Just after take off, I felt a hand between the seat and the plane wall... it was Mitch. We held hands until our Moms realized what we were up to and allowed us to switch seats and sit together. After the flight, we swapped phone numbers and went our own directions, my family and I to Vermont and his family and he went to Long Grove, IL.
We managed to stay in touch via basic email, telephone landlines, and writing letters and convinced our parents to go back to the same location at the same time the following year. We spent as much time as possible together and we ended up getting really close and developing an intimate relationship with each other. I ended up losing my virginity to him.
By the time this vacation was over, it was apparent that we had feelings for each other, but distance was going to be a problem. (After all, at this point in time, faceobook and facetime were not invented). I remember "chatting" with him through a very basic and simple email program from the school computer lab, often.
Senior year of high school, my dad took my brother and I on a long weekend trip to visit Mitch in Long Grove. It was a great weekend and again, it was pretty apparent that we had feelings for each other. Unfortunately, this was short lived as college was around the corner and we were both going to different parts of the country.
However, we did managed to see each other a few times during our Freshman years. Twice I went out there (At Emory in Georgia) and once he came to see me in Los Angeles once. During one visit to Emory and one visit to Occidental, we managed to see one of our favorite bands, Dream Theater. These visits were awesome, and at this point in our lives, it was pretty apparent that we had very strong feelings for each other (yes we loved each other) but unfortunately, time and distance were not on our sides and we both grew lonely and ended up meeting other people.
At the age of 20, I decided to get married. By 21, I had a daughter. Mitch had started a relationship with someone at his school but we remained in contact as the best of friends, When I ended up being a single mom by age 22, Mitch was in a serious relationship, so being with him was out of the question. He didn't hesitate, however, to give me a fair deal of shit for my poor judgement in terms of relationships and having a child at such a young age... but what did he know?? At 23, I met someone else and was re-married by 24. Another child came into the picture as did a serious relationship for Mitch eventually. I wasn't at all happy with his choice, and looking back, I think it was partly because I was jealous and mostly, though, because I felt she wasn't right for him.
Though we remained in touch, we were unable to see each other until 2011 when my work sent me to North Carolina for training. While I was there, he came to visit with his fiance and they spent a weekend with me. It was a great visit, and we had a ton of fun. As always, it seemed as though Mitch and I just picked up where we left off.
That was the last time we saw each other. Mitch basically fell off the radar and though we spoke briefly from time to time, we simply did not have time to truly catch up and it wasn't until recently that I found out why. The "why" is the reason that I'm on this plane to see him. As it turns out, the last couple years have been particularly hellish for him and he's going through a divorce. Part of me wants to give HIM an equally hard time for his relationship failure, but what kind of friend would I be to kick him when he's down? Besides, what good is an "I told you so" when someone is already hurting? And additionally, I've been living apart from my (2nd) ex husband since 2012, so I'm not at all one to talk about relationships and making them work.
It should be interesting to see him after all this time, but I am grateful for the opportunity to get to come out to support one of my oldest friends. I definitely wonder how things will be, considering the various roles we've had in each other's lives over the lat 20 years but I'm just going to go with the flow and see what happens.
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