Building a life together...from a distance

     So now that I'll be spending most of the month of March and a little bit of April in Maryland/DC area, there's so much to do.  I'm feeling very optimistic that this is where we "should be" in our lives and that we're doing the right thing.  However, it's hard to build a life with someone from 3,000 miles away... so I anxiously await the trip so that I can spend a month truly "building a life" and making preparations for the future.
     I think that the month we have together will really make or break us as a couple.  We have one month to really solidify out future and figure out the logistic of our lives.  Checking out the schools the kids will go to, picking the finishes and aspects of the new townhouse, exploring Germantown (where the house is being built), checking out schools for me.... meeting with key people at the schools, etc.  Hopefully, we'll have a solid plan and better idea of what the future holds by the time the visit ends.
     On a side note: I am very thankful to my mom for agreeing to take my daughters during my trip...and to my ex-husband for being cooperative as well.

Not enjoying the distance

So we've decided that we don't want to be apart much longer and have already planned our next move - I will be going out to MD from March 10th until April 8th.  I think it'll be good for us to spend the time together and ensure that this is FULLY what we want.  We will also take time to check out the schools, the area, and very important for me - the education situation for myself.  Obviously great schools for the kids are important but I desperately want to get my own career going.

As it turns out - there are lots of opportunities out in the area (between MD, VA, and DC) and I think I will be able to settle into something that both interests me and will enable me to be a good co-provider for the family.

Additionally, I have found that I have more friends in the area than I originally thought.

I have a good feeling about this.

Goodbye is more of a "see you later"

Today is, unfortunately, the day I head home.  My thoughts are that this won't be for long.  But as of right now, our thoughts are that we will make this work somehow and figure out how to mesh our lives in a more involved way.  When we first started talking about it, we had said we would make this happen "in the next couple years" but we've arrived at the conclusion we don't want to wait that long.  We'll see what happens - I'm not going to hold my breath as of now because the last few years especially have proven to me that anything can happen...and not always in a good way.  But I'm going to say this much... "goodbye" isn't going to be for too long, and I'm trying to think of it more as a "see you later" than anything else.


... Sitting on the tarmac waiting for the plane to leave.  It's snowing and we're a bit delayed.  I'm feeling excited to see my daughters at home but I am sad to be leaving him here.  I am confident in our feelings and choices, but I definitely feel like I need some more time with him to really see where this is going.

No desire to leave...

The last thing I want to do right now is leave.  We've made so much progress and have come so far since I got here.  It's pretty crazy to think about all that has transpired over the last week.  Part of me is still in disbelief that we've gotten to where we are now after twenty years.

When we were in high school and college, we basically "dabbled" in having a more-than-friends type relationship but basically gave up in college when I had to leave school due to family reasons.  It's funny because Mitch keeps asking me why I didn't come live with him, why we didn't try to go to the same college in the first place... so many whys but really, the answer was that we weren't ready for it.  I honestly believe that without the decades between when we met and now having happened as they did, we would NOT be where we are today.  We had to grow up, experience life, and experience the ups and downs as we did.  The downs are probably what make THIS feel so good.  The lessons we've learned throughout our lives thus far have shaped us into who we are.

But I digress... hopefully I'll be back soon

Holocaust Museum

The Holocaust Museum is hauntingly beautiful.  The last time that I went there was right before my Bat Mitzvah (around age 12) and while it had a profound impact on me then, as an adult, that feeling was amplified significantly. Walking around the exhibits, carrying a "passport" bearing the name of someone who was killed during the Holocaust, one can't help but think about the terrifying and awful experiences that they went through...and how fortunate I am to have never seen such horror in my lifetime.  I can't imagine exactly what they went through, but it brings me to tears just thinking about it.

In other news, it's snowing again!!

Newseum part II

What a better way to spend a Sunday than to see more of the awesome Newseum.  Walking around with Mitch is fun in itself and I'm just happy to be here, spending time with him.  It's pretty crazy but it oftentimes feels like we've never been apart in the last 20 years and I'm not quite sure where this is going long-term but I'm very happy to be here.

seeing old friends

Turns out, I have a handful of friends in the DC area that I went to summer camp with.  They all have kids now and I am excited at the prospect of getting to spend more time with them, should the girls and I move to the area.

Seeing Melanie in her "mom" hat and meeting her wife... getting to see Rachel's twins and meet her husband...after watching them evolve and grow through their facebook pages... and then finally seeing them in person after more than a decade, was great.

Going back in time

1995-ish



1999



2011





It's pretty crazy to see the progression of how we've changed over the years.. But the more things change, the more they stay the same!

Air and Space Museum

Honestly, I don't have much to say about the museum, as it is pretty cool but not worth explaining everything.  It's a great place to visit in DC, not to mention, it's FREE.

Talking things over

     Happy Valentine's Day.  I suppose ironically, I couldn't be in a better place to be celebrating "love" even though I don't buy into the whole concept of there being ONE special day to be nice to your significant other.  I feel that every day should be a day where you celebrate your partner, not just the day hallmark tells you to purchase flowers or chocolate.  Besides, I think that both of those are horrid ways to celebrate "lasting love" as flowers die and chocolate either melts, gets eaten, or goes bad.  Not exactly the message that I would want to send someone I felt I had a long term shot with.
     Besides, every day has felt like Valentine's Day since I got here.  I haven't been here long but we've been really in tune with each other, and being together just feels "right."  It's weird, though, because in spite of the fact that we have known each other for so long, we haven't spent that much time together over the years... yet being together feels as though we've never been apart.  From the moment we hugged at the airport, it feels as though emotions are bubbling like crazy and my heart keeps beating fast with anticipation and excitement.  Of what, I don't quite know yet but I'm sure we'll find out.
     Last night was pretty intense.  We stayed up for hours talking about the past, present, and future.  Yes, OUR future.   I guess the problem with me had always been that I had a child (ultimately, children) and he wasn't sure if that was something that he wanted/was ready for. But after talking about things ad nauseum, we came to the conclusion that we were both interested in trying to see if we could make a relationship work and that sometime down the road, the girls and I could consider moving across the country to live closer to him.  I suppose that we will figure things out as time passes and go from there.  All I know is that I am really content with the outcome and feel kind of silly that we didn't realize these things earlier.  The fact is, though, that had things happened differently, who knows - we could have been each other's mistakes.  We've both grown so much from what we've experienced in life and we are better people because of it.  (And it doesn't hurt that we've known each other for the majority of our lives!!!) I'm pretty certain that everything had to happen in the order it did - regardless of how silly we might feel now.
     I don't know where, exactly, this is going but I hope for the best and sincerely feel that we can make it work - provided that we both put in the effort.

The Newseum

I've been to DC before, but I had never been to the Newseum.  It's one of the few museums in DC that charges for entrance but it was worth it.  Basically, it contains the history of...well... the news.  How it has been conveyed to people, the various instruments of news recording, etc.  It has an exhibit with the "best photos from news articles/magazines" over the duration of a certain period of time, but we're going to see that tomorrow.

I've always been fascinated with the news (especially the photographic recording aspect) and so this place is pretty awesome.  The exhibits ranged from fashion to war/conflict and everything in between.  Definitely worth seeing if you are in the DC area.

Check it out:  http://www.newseum.org/

The more things change, the more they stay the same...

     I wasn't sure how things were going to be after not seeing each other since 2011, and having basically had feelings for each other since age 13...but the moment I saw him waiting for me, I knew that this trip was going to be really good... but I'm not quite sue what might transpire.

Getting on the metro from the airport




Us



It was COLD!!

Getting back to where it all began....

     About a month ago, I received a phone call from one of my oldest friends, Mitch.  He has been going through a rough time (in a nutshell, his ex went insane and he did everything in his power to maintain his own sanity while trying to help her) and wanted me to come out.  I said yes without a second thought.
    As I sit here on the plane, I can't help but think... how did we arrive at this point?  What made him so special that I was willing to drop everything for a week and fly across the country to see an old friend who was having a hard time.... Well, that's quite a story in and of itself...
     Mitch and I met in the Spring of 1995 during our families' vacations to Club Med in Huatulco, Mexico.  I had spotted him during "dance' time and asked if he wanted to hang out with me and the other teens in the "teen club."  We became pretty inseparable and as chance would have it, his mom and he were seated behind my mom and I on the plane.  Just after take off, I felt a hand between the seat and the plane wall... it was Mitch.  We held hands until our Moms realized what we were up to and allowed us to switch seats and sit together.  After the flight, we swapped phone numbers and went our own directions, my family and I to Vermont and his family and he went to Long Grove, IL.
     We managed to stay in touch via basic email, telephone landlines, and writing letters and convinced our parents to go back to the same location at the same time the following year. We spent as much time as possible together and we ended up getting really close and developing an intimate relationship with each other.  I ended up losing my virginity to him.
     By the time this vacation was over, it was apparent that we had feelings for each other, but distance was going to be a problem.  (After all, at this point in time, faceobook and facetime were not invented).  I remember "chatting" with him through a very basic and simple email program from the school computer lab, often.
     Senior year of high school, my dad took my brother and I on a long weekend trip to visit Mitch in Long Grove.  It was a great weekend and again, it was pretty apparent that we had feelings for each other.  Unfortunately, this was short lived as college was around the corner and we were both going to different parts of the country.
     However, we did managed to see each other a few times during our Freshman years.  Twice I went out there (At Emory in Georgia) and once he came to see me in Los Angeles once.  During one visit to Emory and one visit to Occidental, we managed to see one of our favorite bands, Dream Theater.  These visits were awesome, and at this point in our lives, it was pretty apparent that we had very strong feelings for each other (yes we loved each other) but unfortunately, time and distance were not on our sides and we both grew lonely and ended up meeting other people.
     At the age of 20, I decided to get married.  By 21, I had a daughter.  Mitch had started a relationship with someone at his school but we remained in contact as the best of friends,  When I ended up being a single mom by age 22, Mitch was in a serious relationship, so being with him was out of the question.  He didn't hesitate, however, to give me a fair deal of shit for my poor judgement in terms of relationships and having a child at such a young age... but what did he know??  At 23, I met someone else and was re-married by 24.  Another child came into the picture as did a serious relationship for Mitch eventually.  I wasn't at all happy with his choice, and looking back, I think it was partly because I was jealous and mostly, though, because I felt she wasn't right for him.
     Though we remained in touch, we were unable to see each other until 2011 when my work sent me to North Carolina for training.  While I was there, he came to visit with his fiance and they spent a weekend with me.  It was a great visit, and we had a ton of fun.  As always, it seemed as though Mitch and I just picked up where we left off.
     That was the last time we saw each other.  Mitch basically fell off the radar and though we spoke briefly from time to time, we simply did not have time to truly catch up and it wasn't until recently that I found out why.  The "why" is the reason that I'm on this plane to see him.  As it turns out, the last couple years have been particularly hellish for him and he's going through a divorce.  Part of me wants to give HIM an equally hard time for his relationship failure, but what kind of friend would I be to kick him when he's down?  Besides, what good is an "I told you so" when someone is already hurting?  And additionally, I've been living apart from my (2nd) ex husband since 2012, so I'm not at all one to talk about relationships and making them work.
     It should be interesting to see him after all this time, but I am grateful for the opportunity to get to come out to support one of my oldest friends.  I definitely wonder how things will be, considering the various roles we've had in each other's lives over the lat 20 years but I'm just going to go with the flow and see what happens.